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Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

5/9/2012 12:36:31 PM rena kiya Posts: 1	please read my work i am a dark writer but thats my life here is the first poem i posted they get darker has they go on To weather the storm in heaven or hell am i Storms above me, storms below, Storms of violence, Storms of sadness, Storms of anger Storms of people laughing, mocking my existence Sorrow, and the joy of the few lights of hope and friendship echoes Through the storms The storms surround me night and day No land sight Poseidon’s rage is all I see No mercy found, twix’t night and day But for the brief repast The gift night brings To weather the storms I travel unseen, unheard Past those who give the storm its powers To the places in my dreams Where night and day are side by side And Wolves gather below the moons Midday and night, to sing Their songs of peace Of legends from long ago Of loyalty to their pack And the fight to survive. To weather the storms I look to the wolves As a cub, to the mother The strong live to be the hunters Whilst the weak become the prey The storm takes all Partial to none it hunts One by one, boat by boat, all fall to the storm Human, Animal, Angel, Demon, the storm resides in us all waiting to take hold to drag us to its depths when hope is gone darkness rules until the Light is found hope is gone end of poem *My blood is poison* Darkness flow in place of my blood A black stone is my heart it Kills all who draw near My blood is poison never again will you know love, joy, hope or passion Nor will you receive these from others Darkness is your ONLY companion lover and friend The light will NEVER be yours NEVER again will you feel its warmth upon your skin edited by wolf moon on 5/17/2012
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7/19/2012 9:13:42 PM joanna smith Posts: 3	I enjoyed this poetry greatly im not sure of any negative feed bavk i could give you......Well i have re read the works and the only thing i could say is that it would be interesting to see what you could come up with if you had to be completely vague. Of you laced your poetry with hidden messages and left it to the reader to decifer. But there is nothing i can say about these writings specifically that i'd work on
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7/19/2012 9:15:21 PM joanna smith Posts: 3	Now if you could give me some feed back on my work i'd appreciate it. Sometimes i think ppl are just trying to be nice and i really need to know what i could work on. Thanks
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