Poetry Forum

Forum Home » Introductions » Hi

New to PoetrySoup? Introduce yourself here. Tell us something about yourself.

2/23/2023 8:01:31 PM

Emci Ohtu
Posts: 1

So I just joined, literally just found out about this site earlier today. I'm my own special kind of antisocial, so all my life (35) up until now I guess, I would have never come to a place like this to present my poetry or my thoughts. I have trust issues I suppose, again in my own special way, I used to feel like I hated everyone and lately I've realized that perhaps that's a screen and really I'm just scared to make myself too vulnerable. Which doesn't align with how I think the rest of me works, because I feel like I don't care what anyone thinks about me, but I hide away from their opinions all the same.

This is much too deep for this, but it works I guess. Like I said, normally I would never join any kind of site like this, too close to social media. And in the off-chance I did join this site as an exception, like Reddit, I would never post anything for a long time, and when I finally did, it for damn sure wouldn't be on some stupid ass newbie intro board.

But I'm finding that my hatred for the world is really hatred for myself, in this weird, fucked up mental projection upon others, that admittedly I still don't quite understand. I'm pretty good at working to improve things when I can, and even though I don't fully understand the things I'm going through, I feel like opening up is the right thing.

The only thing that I'm sure of will help.

I came here to post my poetry that I've written, because I hope that it will inspire me to write again. The way my mind works when I'm in my creative/expressive moods is when I like me best. But I've always just tried to let it come on its own, this is me trying to force it. But not like sitting in front of my computer all day and hating myself for not coming up with anything I think is right, this is me trying to engage.

It's a step I need to take.

Honestly, it feels like it's working already because I haven't expressed myself even like this in quite some time. So here's to hoping for the best.

• permalink • reply with quote