Poetry Forum
Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
2/23/2023 7:29:44 AM
Madison Burt
Posts: 1
|
I’m so sick of myself
My friends are hurt
My family is hurt
My body is hurt
All because of me
I refuse help
I need it badly
Is it worth the risk?
I hurt everything I come into contact with
It’s not intentional
Intention is irrelevant
When others get hurt
I know I deserve pain
I know I deserve hell
I know
I’m so sick of myself
I shouldn’t be like this
It’s unnatural
No one should cause pain
But it seems nature decided
To take the day off
Please be kind when criticizing!! This is free verse and I don't feel how this poem expresses anymore, so don't worry about that part.
|
|
• permalink
• reply with quote
|
2/25/2023 11:45:31 AM
Di11y Da11y
Posts: 17
|
Hi, I'm not sure it's possible to make suggestions for something so personal. I am inclined to suggest getting a second opinion on the situation though if this is based on reality. Sometimes it's daunting thinking of making big steps to change something deeply engrained, however those offering help on various matters are usually experts who can help with small steps in the right direction instead of staying on a destructive path.
|
|
• permalink
• reply with quote
|
Powered by AspNetForum
6.6.0.0
© 2006-2010 Jitbit Software