Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
12/19/2022 8:30:44 PM
Ms Affection Posts: 9
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“Who are you?”, I asked one day
Her puzzled look blew my mind
Within herself she was trying to find
But had no idea to my dismay
Despite the confidence she tried to display
The years of pretense she couldn’t unbind
Long lost time, no rewind
“Who am I”?, the lines were grey
“Ahhhaa moment”, it came to her
Realizing, she had to step away
From deception that caused her identity to blur
Freedom within, she would no longer stray
To a place that masked the real her
True found self, here to stay
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12/23/2022 9:57:24 AM
Di11y Da11y Posts: 17
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Hi, I'm no poetry expert so can only talk of my own preferences. Your poem has the right essence but just looks to need a reflective edit. Sometimes I find the rhymes or line orders can be reordered or tweaked to make a real difference. I think, but I'm not expert, there may be a little bit that can improve the flow but the concept and central theme are put across really well.
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2/28/2023 4:49:57 AM
John OZEMKO Posts: 6
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I don't see any images in this piece. Is double spaced lines needed?
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3/16/2023 1:12:51 PM
Jenny Gargarello Posts: 4
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I thought your poem was very meaningful and well written. I might single space it. Otherwise, I think it is great.
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