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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/24/2022 10:53:01 AM

Robert Neville
Posts: 1
I used to write songs/lyrics and I am trying to transition to poetry - this is a first attempt



British Seaside town
We went and mocked the modest stone
Not knowing everyone here sleeps alone
Victorian torpor masked; Victorian squalor masked
Jagged shaped homes, this is where people live
Women hold court with seagulls
Talk their nonsense, it was better in 1943, Churchill, Attlee
Cream tea on the ferry
Blitz renovation, now that would have been the cherry
Sat all day by dirty window
Beached whale, ingrown toenail
Beached whale, promenade cannot hide
Gambling arcade, horrific, man-made destruction
Win, but never know what
Change the subject, change it back
Stick of rock, silence, sugar like crack

British Seaside town
Pumped repetition from TV from1973
Travel the limited world from the living room
Sausage, grey, catch of the day, plate full, ill
Still available for mischief, name the day
Joy, despair, in the morning light
One more drink, a good time, old times sake
Live a life in two weeks, freedom and honey
Mouth to mouth, the latest gossip
Sex, drugs and money
People say what they know but not what they say
They shine in the day glow, if you’re ugly they say so

British Seaside town
Contemplate death of life on wasted rainy days
A frozen gutter under pale skies
Chill on the skin from a rainless storm
A hero, a fraud, picked up a guitar, immediately got bored
You can’t create a scene from the debris
Too old, too wise, always one, not both
Skinny men, muscle men, keep me away from them
Seduced by old tricks, on beach full of sticks
Best days are long gone, hold on to what was
Two pairs of tights and a thermal vest
Can’t keep you warm

British Seaside town
Nursing home morgue
Reverse in black hearse,
Crises come, crises go, crisis evident on the nose
In the cold heat of the night
Darkness darkens darker
Urgency stifles emergency
A paramedic passes in the ambulance
Priest blows candles for ambience
The men therapised blow dry grievance whilst
Bicep women waste time on petty crime
A name that was never you

British Seaside town
Clusters of people, good once but can’t recall it
On the retreat, pick your battles
Let’s put a curtain on the moon
Put a blind on the sun, it ends soon
Stars unwanted, it used to be one
The vigour is chemical, kickstarting an edible
Valium victorious, Xanax glorious
Naltrexone to get them in the zone
Spend the day on the sofa
With eyes like saucers
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