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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
9/26/2022 5:00:05 PM

Becky Forbes
Posts: 1
Special


I shouted to the sky
I want to be SPECIAL
The wind whispered back
You already are

No, No, You don’t see
I replied, fist waving
I want to be SPECIAL
To more than just me

I didn’t stop there
I kept the rant going
I want to be important
I want to be seen

I want fame and fortune
And all that goes with it
What do I do to make it happen
What do I do to become a queen?

The wind soft and gentle
Waited with loving patience
Waiting for my rant to end
She ever so gently caressed my face

The wind spoke to me deeply
Whispering love full of grace
But you already are
Queen of your existence

You are, I promise;
It can be no other way
Your fussing and fighting
Is just a mistake; you’ll see one day

It’s a mistaken flurry
A swelling of fear
That masks insecurity
Insecurity you hold dear

The insecurity was born
Early in your existence
It imprinted on you strongly
When you were just young

But it’s not true
It’s based on a lie
And now is the time
To make it undone

You see, you can’t be special
To anyone else
Until you are
Special to you

No one else holds
The specialness key
No one else,
Only you do
edited by Becky Forbes on 9/26/2022
edited by Becky Forbes on 9/26/2022
edited by Becky Forbes on 9/26/2022
edited by Becky Forbes on 9/26/2022
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10/22/2022 12:27:09 PM

EOTrees Myles
Posts: 14
This is a special poem but do just a little editing and you will realize just how special this poem would mean to other readers. Beautiful.

--
E.O.-Tree"s Myles
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12/17/2022 2:56:01 AM

Di11y Da11y
Posts: 17
Would another verse redefining 'special' add to the poem and the journey?
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12/17/2022 4:36:26 AM

Di11y Da11y
Posts: 17
Hi, not to critique yours at all, but I had a play around with some of the words as they echo some of my feelings too. Absolutely keep yours the same, but here's a slightly different version. I'm a complete novice and it's unedited but there might be ideas for extra bits to find with this version or some solace that you aren't alone feeling that way.
Special


Pointlessly shouting to the sky
I want to be SPECIAL
The wind whispered almost unheard back
You already are

No, No, don’t you see
Shouts the reply, fist waving angrily
I want to be SPECIAL
More than just me

Not stopping there
The rant full throttle
Demanding importance and acclaim
I can no longer be unseen

Fame and fortune equating to purpose
And all that goes with it
What do I do, oh what do I do?
To make this happen for me?

The wind soft and gentle still
Waits and bides it's time with loving patience
Waiting for the rant to end
She ever so gently caressed my face

The wind saw me and I heard her
Whispering love full of grace
But you already are
Queen of your existence

The promised contentment eased my soul
Everything gone before serving only to remain as a strong foundation
The fussing and fighting fading
Just a misunderstanding with fate

It’s a mistaken flurry
Born of rush and hurry
That created insecurity
Etched deep within

Early on, reasons untold
Weakness in nurture, planted a seed
Resulting in a reassurance loop need
Ever repeating, ever repeating

But that's based on the insecurity of others
Passed through time
Recognised and seen for what it is
Work in progress to make it undone

Redefine what special means
Recognise the special in me
Know that it's more than beauty or fame
Each of our essence is not the same

When you are not sure
If there's a key to the lock
Of the door to the dream
Then try first a knock

Stepping forward, being true
Breathing in and seeing
What others already knew
The special was always within you
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