Poetry Forum

Forum Home » Be Gentle » CRUSH:

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

1/30/2012 5:17:27 AM Louis Muhereza Posts: 3	Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:{behavior:url(#ieooui) } / Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;}hello, this is one of my favourite poems, and being new to this forum and poetry group i would like to recieve feedback. any type of feedback is highly acceptable and will be constructively received. thank you. CRUSH The day i first met her She moved along like a timed slide show With grace and chaste in her stride Swinging her hips like a desert Carmel And stepping on the ground like it hurts. That’s when i first saw her Meeting her was a dream come true, Speaking to her was like melting the snow. Her voice like the ocean singing low With no turbulent waves to alter the flow. That’s when i first met her. Touching her was like food to a pauper Her skin smooth like a kwashiorkor patient Her body soft like sheep wool That’s when i first touched her. Holding her in my arms, Being with her all my life ...was never imagined For it never happened
	• permalink • reply with quote
1/30/2012 7:48:25 AM Louis Muhereza Posts: 3	thanks...means alot.
	• permalink • reply with quote