Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/27/2021 10:07:22 AM
Ms Affection
Posts: 9
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Thankful
Enjoying the noise
Ongoing laughter and joy
Standing in his place
Dad says a heartfelt prayer
Thankful his children are home
edited by Affection on 10/27/2021
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3/19/2022 1:06:15 PM
Dave Collins
Posts: 13
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Yr syllable count is good. My only suggestion would be to substitute the word "says" for "sighs" a heartfelt prayer. There's good emotion in it. Nice job.
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