Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/23/2021 8:54:04 PM
Summer Lange
Posts: 2
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The silence is so empty it makes me want to scream
My tears run down my face while no one is watching
My heart is beating but also it's breaking
My head has so many thoughts just racing
My stomach is in knots I want it all to stop
This loneliness is killing me
He's gone away somewhere I can not be
Shackles and chains with no escape
Bright orange two piece suit not the latest in fashion
No family no friends no
love found anywhere
Oh and I'm the one who
put him there
Yes the silence is so empty it makes me want to....
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10/25/2021 8:58:07 AM
Eduardo Richardson
Posts: 65
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Great verse, I really like it. He is very sensual and in form it is the style that I really like. Thanks again for sharing it.
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10/27/2021 7:26:08 AM
Ms Affection
Posts: 9
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This is deep. I really enjoyed it.
I would remove the “My” at the beginning of the lines to see how it flows. Regardless, I was THERE as I read. It pulled me in right away
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