Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
8/2/2021 10:09:16 PM
Jake Price
Posts: 2
|
Below is the most recent poem I've written. It is an acrostic poem and its semi rhymed and I stuck to a 10 syllable per line rule. I just started writing poetry recently. I tried to covey a lot of different idea and images in this one and I want to know if any of it makes sense, and where I need to improve upon. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you and have a wonderful day!
Pressure builds, muscles tear, bones will splinter.
Of course I am proud of the things I’ve done.
Too much weight on my soul, I will never
Ever compare to myself so I run.
New accomplishments drown in the shadows
Thrown by trophies and medals I have won.
I envy kids whose mom’s shot down the stars.
A boy’s wax wings that never see the sun
Let me breathe! I hate the word potential.
|
|
• permalink
• reply with quote
|
Powered by AspNetForum
6.6.0.0
© 2006-2010 Jitbit Software