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3/7/2021 1:06:09 PM Paghunda Zahid Posts: 2	THERE IS A STAR WITH MY NAME ON IT And here the Night comes Bringing to life a zillion Flames Some vague, some clear, some near some remote Smeared on the Night's long black over coat Blinking their eyes, they hide and seek Trying to bring smile on every watching cheek Amid these, are stars that look like burning coals They have our name crafted in their souls For every single particle of sand That slips through our Hand And is engulfed by the tormented Waves When reaches the bottom of the deep Caves Breaks the hourglass, Ignites into flames, Transcends the barriers of times and space And flies, until it reaches the end of skies Each one that you see or may not see with naked eyes Have a gem hidden in them, an ember desire, a wish A Heart's beat, that cease to perish (Paghunda Zahid) (26th Feb, 2021)(3:56 pm) -- Paghunda
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3/7/2021 7:01:58 PM Yonathan Asefaw Posts: 9	Love the imagery, but why is ignite capitalized? edited by LoomingSun on 3/7/2021
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3/30/2021 1:21:32 PM Carol Pelizzari Posts: 3	I'm not a big fan of "a zillion" flames, and flames and space don't really rhyme or even slant rhyme. It doesn't seem to match the tone of the rest of the poem? Other than that it's beautiful edited by TheMuseisIn on 3/30/2021
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