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12/7/2011 6:53:14 PM Andrew Pierce Posts: 3	Tell me what you think: Forlornly are wedding bells here chiming Within ears of this lonely man, forsaken By fate, who now sits and writes words, rhyming To find solace from his mistress, taken. A girl whose eyes would glare with such greatness Beauty's standard would drop when she would blink Her hands so soft, her touch was like a kiss Her raw beauty, strangely, rising at wink. No longer will she call my lot her love For she has wandered from what was our home Yes, far from my cage has flown my sweet dove She has left me waiting, crying, alone They say: if you love her, let her go free Yet they know not the joy she brought to me
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2/6/2012 6:19:22 AM Karen Deeks Posts: 2	Hello, I'm no expert but love real reviews. I can understand why you started with forlornly but I found (and all my opinions are just as I see things.) I just found myself stuttering at the start.Girl with eyes that glare (lovely). would drop when she would blink... Maybe (beauty's standards dropped as she blinked) the only other word j avoid like the plague normally replacing with a comma or( as) Is like, it just seems weak and unnecessary to me... Other than that an enjoyable gentle read which actually stands for much. Thanks Karen
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