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10/13/2019 12:15:58 AM Jenish Somadas Posts: 7	I’mNot a Poet Poet! Am I one? Without an aim I wrote, Started, for a fun Mind’s creation I note. Wandering thoughts, a lot, Coming together, they fight, Words fighting for a slot, Poem coming to the light. Poem first, or the poet? I asked myself, in vain Poem first, then the poet, Answer came from the brain. Never a poet creates a poem, Oh dear poet, you lives in your poem.
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10/14/2019 12:21:34 PM Jack Webster Posts: 255	Really interesting. Okay, so it is in the contemporary family of sonnets: 14 lines; you even have a volta; consistent rhyme scheme. Your meter is interesting. You seem to be using an impure tetrameter, though occasionally you a lame foot or extra syllable on some of your lines - although you are consistent in mirroring these alteration in the line they are paired with by rhyme. The tetrameter works well for short lines that communicate tension, anxiety, and it matches your theme well. It is really fun you switched to pentameter for the final couplet. The change of voice is great for giving the envoi. The idea is good. The way you’ve structured the thoughts the observe the volta is good. However, the lines themselves are lacking something. The voice is a bit like reading a text book. Maybe work on the voice the lines are written in. Good luck
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10/14/2019 11:44:15 PM Jenish Somadas Posts: 7	Dear Jack, Thank you for your valuable comment.. ##However, the lines themselves are lacking something. The voice is a bit like reading a text book.## I also felt the same when i complete this poem. This is the first time, I wrote a poem with a rhyme scheme in mind..
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10/15/2019 5:47:51 PM Jack Webster Posts: 255	Technically it’s a very fun poem. I love the thoughtfulness that went into the craft of it.
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10/23/2019 11:38:22 PM Jenish Somadas Posts: 7	##You seem to be using an impure tetrameter## Syllables Per Line:5 6 5 6 0 6 7 6 7 0 7 6 7 6 0 10 10
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10/24/2019 10:24:53 PM Jack Webster Posts: 255	srjenish1 wrote: ##You seem to be using an impure tetrameter## Syllables Per Line:5 6 5 6 0 6 7 6 7 0 7 6 7 6 0 10 10 Oops! Good call. Trimeter* (I confuse the two T-meters sometimes)
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1/14/2020 6:18:07 PM Warren Mbaht Posts: 10	If as you say you are a new poet Janish. Could I suggest you try a 4 line stanza balad form abab. See how you go with that. Another could be enclosed rhyme. Again 4 line stanza abba. Concentrate on consitent syllable count. edited by Warrenmbaht on 1/14/2020 edited by Warrenmbaht on 1/14/2020
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1/14/2020 6:23:00 PM Warren Mbaht Posts: 10	The two edits were correcting my spelling mistakes, I often strike 2 keys. Proof read post first? what is that?
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