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7/22/2018 7:20:53 PM

J P Marmaro
Posts: 9

Hi: I wrote this sonnet for Mark Massey's Your Finest 2018 Sonnet Contest:

Relentless Time

When very young, we blindly may dismiss
Our elders’ admonitions about Time,
Or future grief or pain, for in that bliss
Who recks of illness, death, mischance, or crime?

And in our prime, with life’s distracting needs,
With open, seeing eyes, we still are blind:
We go our ways, and yet, while Time proceeds,
The passing hours are rarely brought to mind.

But when we're spared into our elder years,
We recognize the truth we used to mock:
That whether youth was fraught with joy or tears,
There is no hope of winding back the clock.

Use well the days, because with every breath,
Relentless Time will sweep us all toward death.

I wrote this rather quickly but have tweaked it quite a bit since; I had originally begun in impersonal voice (one, one's) and ended in first person plural (we, our, us)… I prefer the impersonal, but as I really wanted the "us" in the final couplet, I have changed the beginning to conform, though the first person plural does make the diction more informal, and sonnets should err on the side of being formal, I think.

Anyhow, your comments or critiques would be welcome.
edited by jpmarmaro on 7/22/2018
edited by jpmarmaro on 7/22/2018
edited by jpmarmaro on 7/24/2018
edited by jpmarmaro on 7/24/2018
edited by jpmarmaro on 7/24/2018
edited by jpmarmaro on 7/24/2018

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