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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

6/28/2018 4:06:37 PM levi johnson Posts: 15	Do you feel subtly disconnected Not yourself or somebody rare? Do you want to escape this reality Of dos and don’ts and affairs? Do you wish to be wonderfully wealthy Not toiling or taking or game? Do you hunger for a genius mind Rather than slave to dogmas of fame? Do you view society as scheming Not fair or equal or of trust? Do you crave unconditional love Rather than revolving door lust? Do you long to live in human time Not the clock or sun or moon? Do you dream to evolve in a sphere Rather than hide in a pleasant cocoon? edited by Levi on 10/2/2018
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6/28/2018 5:20:41 PM Jack Webster Posts: 255	As it is, it is good. However it reminds me of the reflection of a seagull skimming across the clear surface of the sea looking at all the fish it might grab; how I was waiting for it to plunge into the waves and seize one in its beak and beat the waters with its wings until it emerged soaked and satisified. As it is, it is enjoyable, whimsical, like leaning one's cheek on one's palm and staring out the window. I think there at least five or six unique poems waiting to be discovered in this alone. As its own poem it is fine, but I hope you will not stop there. It is a field rich with seeds that can't wait to put up leaves. edited by superlativedeleted on 6/28/2018
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