Poetry Forum

Forum Home » High Critique » please critique

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

4/2/2018 12:29:18 AM Micah Watkins Posts: 2	B. Bad AF E. Extravagant A. Amazing beyond Imagining U. Unique in every way T. Tender and Compassionate I. Immortal In my heart F. Forever Pledged to your Majesty U. Unfuckwitable L. Limitlees My Loyalty Queen of the Goddesses I kneel before your royalty (Baby Your Beautiful) I swear you got me in my feelings so let me say this formally... Cupid caught me slipping and that wouldnt happen normally .. Emotions are disorderly wish you could mean more to me ... One day to have the courage to follow my heart accordingly... Passion may it pour from me if youd only be my Mi Armor... My love so everlasting every breath you take my soul adores.... Teach you how to levitate your feet shall never touch the floor... I'd sweep you off them anyway like grains of dust through open doors.... Looking in your eyes its like I've never seen the stars before ... The only wish I have is that my hand should never part from yours... i will be your soldier at attention let my love deploy .... There is no competition I just wanna be your lover boy.. -- Sincereley Yours
	• permalink • reply with quote
4/7/2018 4:04:33 PM J P Marmaro Posts: 9	Hi! "Unfuckwitable"? Spell checking might be a good idea. (but even that won't always catch mistakes, such as writing "your" when it ought to be "you're")-- It's "Mi amor"-- Do you intentionally use sparse punctuation? Some judiciously placed commas would be good. Hope this helps! Keep writing, that's the poet's way! edited by jpmarmaro on 4/7/2018
	• permalink • reply with quote