Book: Shattered Sighs

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Forum Home » Be Gentle » feedback please?

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
6/6/2011 12:46:54 AM

lauren hornaday
Posts: 1
For four years my relationship survived
On collect phone calls
Around which I scheduled my life
And Saturday afternoon visits
Leave the house at 11am
For the long drive through Sin City
Out of town and through the desert
To sit outside with the same familiar faces
All nameless
Waiting for our inmate's name to be called
And hoping our outfits aren't too tight, too blue, or too short
For four years
Our "date night" consisted of microwave hamburgers, mini bags of chips, and bottles
of soda
Purchased from the row of vending machines along the wall
Paid for in quarters from my regulation clear plastic bag
For four years
Our physical fulfillment came from
One kiss in
One kiss out
Holding hands across the table
Knees touching
This is what I looked forward to
The least lonely day of a series of lonely days
Summing up to four years
But eventually he got out
The dream each of those nameless faces was waiting to come true, was true
No more collect calls
No more prepaid accounts
No more rides to the middle of nowhere
No more strategic outfits or getting patted down or bags of quarters
We made it
Clueless of the coming fallout
The aftereffects
The struggles and expectations
Suddenly aware of the lies that we told ourselves to get us through
And that incarceration wasn't the only thing preventing happiness
All I know now
Is that the phone won't ring anymore at 8pm
And on Saturday I sleep in and do laundry
I don't go anywhere so I don't get dressed up
He is trying to figure life out
And I am still sitting around waiting
Only now the waiting is endless
We might be out of prison
But prison won.
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10/25/2011 4:43:48 PM

dean wood
Posts: 6
i like it. im too just from jail and i can understand how it must be for those outside. put more feeling facts and thaughts is all i feel. very good though or am i just byest?

--
wood nead
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