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Forum Home » High Critique » The Poet Speaks For Them

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/22/2017 12:49:40 PM

Marsha Smith
Posts: 4
The Poet Speaks For Them


If I were a seed in soil;

that held within it
coiled, furled,

a blade of grass
to clothe a hill or
seasonal bloom of
flaming hues to

tickle the eye or caress
the nares with redolent
notes that fill the air,
I wouldn't speak of it.

If I were a tree with
roots that is a compass
to heaven, with toes
that dig and cling
reaching far below
the dark caverns

past ancient wells,
with tops that spire and

pine supreme waving
the span like a flag atop the
highest tower
overlooking buildings
snapping billowing,
lauded, saluted,
I'd stand silent, stoic.

If I were the vast imperium
swept bright in the
dim of dusk with sparks
of glittering shards
spread like freckles
across the angel
kissed face of a
carrot topped child

and if my milky swirled galaxies
churned boundless,
in an Elysium vat
savored by winged messengers
like ice-cream churns
gelid—ambrosial
served in swirls on
the 4th of July at
terrestrial celebrations,

I wouldn't say a word
I’m heard and noticed—

the poet observes with his
imaginings, lifts his pen and
writes of it.

©2017 Marsha S. Smith
edited by ember2ash on 1/22/2017
edited by ember2ash on 1/22/2017
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1/30/2017 2:14:50 PM

Graphite Drug
Posts: 81
An excellent quality of work. There is real good poetry here, difficult for me to comment on. I was tripped up by white space though. line breaks and stanzas seem abruptly placed to me. For example, I wrote the first part:


If I were a seed in soil;
that held within it coiled, furled,
a blade of grass to clothe a hill or seasonal bloom
of flaming hues to tickle the eye
or caress the nares
with redolent notes that fill the air,
I wouldn't speak of it.
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