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Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

6/30/2016 2:00:17 AM Jolene Cheyney Posts: 66	Kitty-cornered Jaguar She came tearing through the parking lot Finally she brought the car to a stop From fore to aft I count three lines crossed What worries me more is how near are the people Finally she brought the car to a stop The "other 2" tires again touched the ground What worries me more is how near are the people She doesn't touch street drugs, unless you count her adrenaline The "other 2" tires again touched the ground The proprietor of the establishment came out and she said She doesn't touch street drugs, unless you count her adrenaline Try to be calm he said rolling his eyes, take to the stage to find your natural high. The proprietor of the establishment came out and she said From fore to aft, I count three lines crossed Try to be calm he said rolling his eyes, take to the stage to find your natural high. She came tearing through the parking lot. edited by Jmc86850 on 6/30/2016
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7/1/2016 7:54:04 AM David Smith Posts: 13	Jmc86850 wrote: Kitty-cornered Jaguar She came tearing through the parking lot Finally she brought the car to a stop From fore to aft I count three lines crossed What worries me more is how near are the people Finally she brought the car to a stop The "other 2" tires again touched the ground What worries me more is how near are the people She doesn't touch street drugs, unless you count her adrenaline The "other 2" tires again touched the ground The proprietor of the establishment came out and she said She doesn't touch street drugs, unless you count her adrenaline Try to be calm he said rolling his eyes, take to the stage to find your natural high. The proprietor of the establishment came out and she said From fore to aft, I count three lines crossed Try to be calm he said rolling his eyes, take to the stage to find your natural high. She came tearing through the parking lot. edited by Jmc86850 on 6/30/2016
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7/1/2016 7:56:55 AM David Smith Posts: 13	Can feel the beat of life on the street. Cool writing. "Life is full of stages" from David in NZ
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7/14/2016 3:08:16 AM Caleb Lawrence Posts: 2	Jolene Cheney very nicely done. Only constructive criticism I have is to be consistent with the number usage. What you've done is you use three in the written form, then change to number form when you say two. Then you go back to written form again with three. It makes it a bit weird. Choose whether you want to use the written form or the number form and then stick to it. Happy writing edited by blissymouse on 7/14/2016
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7/15/2016 2:21:28 AM Jolene Cheyney Posts: 66	David, I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment. Positive comments encourage me to keep writing. Blissymouse, thank you for helping me to make my work better. I used voice dictation and that's the numeric form that was chosen by the cell phone. I will go make the changes right away. Thank you again.
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9/25/2016 5:26:11 PM Jerome Malenfant Posts: 26	Not clear to me why the narrator is worried about how near ARE the people if the car has now stopped. Do you mean how near they WERE to the car when it was in motion. And if so, why is the narrator STILL worried about that? Also not clear to me is what the 3d line, first stanza means. Or why "other 2" is in quotes.
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11/12/2016 4:58:26 AM Micah Watkins Posts: 2	#I💘 By Micah "Sincere" Watkins My beloved ...beautiful Queen of the Goddesses... Thy heart my way only covet when I kiss u it was obvious... heaven made perfection so I think about you constantly... i offer my protection every word is spoke with honesty ... please lend me your hand I'll take a knee if you would honor me ... shared my hearts proposal only vocal to your majesty... if ever your affections part from favor I'll refuse to breathe.... Break my soul remove its spark and lead me to the tradgey... you taught me how a kiss could deceive the laws of gravity ,.. Beauty met a Beast living ever after happily.. Last night I saw you in my dreams again... A past life where the trees could bear no seeds with in ... I cast light through the darkness my immortal pen ... I know that you were made for me so let our dynasty begin ... He broke your heart and left you cold actions that I won't defend... Every single piece retreaved i reconstruct with gentle hands... I offer every piece of me your every wish is my command ... Judge me if you will for real but you will never understand... Til death do us part design compliance still ill love you then.. Savagely my love devine Ill never die a mortal man... edited by MaxSincere on 11/12/2016 -- Sincereley Yours
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12/23/2016 9:17:58 PM Doug Vinson Posts: 102	Micah, you ought to make a new topic/thread - Forum > Poetry Critique "Be Gentle" (if that's what you want) where it says, "new topic."
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