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4/15/2016 6:03:25 PM
Bob Atkinson Posts: 294
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****got to thinking about the price we pay for political correctness, and why Sturgis and Woodstock are necessary***
An Inn and a Tavern
- by -Bob Atkinson
a tavern hosts us openly
with wine to fill our gut
food, drink and plesantries
and all those goodies bunched
a wench to flirt with sincerely
as we spend our meagar coin
many games, songs to sing
stories here get told
an inn, on one's other hand
serves us beer or ale
gives us a bed to sleep in
and for our needs a pail
we call them "public houses"
"pubs" for short if you've not time
before tipping glass to lips
to cross eyes forgetting why
why we need companionship
when at home our kegs stay full
wonders of humanity's mood
and our need to grab a girl
oh yes, we've come a long way
social customs have advanced
to where we do what we like
and others never ask
may cross your eyes at this
revision of our norms
but normalcy detracts from nature
makes us emotional pawns
we see not animal instincts
refuse to accept good fact
we're not machines with values fixed
had enough of that
we need to decide in unison
here on this judgment day
do we want to stay animals
or to machinery pray
those who find correctness
a better way to go
need think this through completely
before our sky brings snow
for snow's what we've been fed
to keep us all in line
shouldn't we have fun with this
our shortened mortal lives
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4/16/2016 4:29:05 PM
Anthony Guccia Posts: 5
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Totally like the theme.... I have a poem called "Cuervo's Conquest" .... it has a similar, yet slightly more vulgar theme... I have a few suggestions on some wording... you can take them or leave it... But, here it is.... First line... The tavern openly our host, with win (we) fill our gut? food, drinks, and pleasantries those goodies all in a bunch... (only because the gut and bunch are a stronger soft rhyme than gut and bunched, don't even know if you were going for that soft rhyme, but it seemed like it.) A suggestion... next stanza.... with wench I flirt sincerely and we spend our meager pay (used pay, because you can rhyme it with the next line if you change that just a slight bit.) Many games, songs to sing, new stories told all day.... or just stories told all day....
next stanza.... an inn, on one hand, serves us beer or ale. A bed for us to sleep in, the bathroom is a pale. (just rewording.... if you like it, keep it) Next, We call them public houses, pubs, if I haven't got the time. before tipping glass to lips, my cross eyes start to cry, or lie... my cross eyes always lie...... next line... kegs are full, instead of stay... stanza or two down... Cross your eyes at this revision, of our social norms, normalcy detracts our self nature, breeding emotional pawns Ignore our animal instincts, refusing even fact, not machines of fixed value, seen enough of that. we need to decide in unison, here on judgment day. Continue on as Animals, or become machine's prey those who find correctness, the better way to go, Please think it through completely, before our sky begins to snow. Truly it is snow, we are being fed, to keep us each in line. Shouldn't we have some fun with this, our short and mortal lives.....
I don't know... I hope your not mad I tried to change some stuff around... I just love word play and non sense... I am also a never ending tweaker, I can never leave my work alone. I will change everything five hundred times..... Drives me nuts, and I am probably now driving you nuts as well. Anyways, I hope you don't take offense. Besides the word play, I enjoy the theme... an Avid party/bar goer myself....
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