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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/7/2016 6:44:46 AM
Bob Atkinson Posts: 294
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Packaging Gone Wild
- by Bob Atkinson
TSA nabbed him cold
they put him in a cage
he didn't know what hit him
yet, his emotions didn't rage
he sat and pouted openly
wasn't his fault in the least
he had those tools to conquer
the packaging beast
scissors, saw and scalpel
screw driver, chisel, hammer
ice pick, tire iron
mallet, hammer, jack
dynamite explosive
fuse, matches, cap
testament to how hard we work
to open bubbled wrappings
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2/2/2016 10:20:20 PM
Bob Atkinson Posts: 294
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Peggy Dear, your answer is much more funny than my poem. Thanks for an extended laugh. Bob
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3/2/2016 9:59:01 AM
Bob Atkinson Posts: 294
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Victoria, thanks for your kind comments. Evidently you haven't see a .45 barrel touching the head of a passenger at the ticket counter who couldn't control their emotions.
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A Ticket Encounter
-by Bob Atkinson
we stood in line for hours to get home's a daunting task here at Rhein Main we stand next to our hard packed bags
had a good vacation Budget gave us a car that worked drove many miles on autobahns saw a different kind of world
but here, in our saddest time must return to our home in L.A. and begin again a savings game driving miles and miles to work each day
announcement comes on speakers if you're headed to Los Angeles please go to line forty-five as quickly as possible
we step over to that que a few minutes this would take then hopefully be on our way on the other side of gates
"sir if you will please give your passports and tickets please for on this flight we've booked a team Americans have to leave
we've given you a voucher for a comfortable night in town but you'll not be going home until that time comes 'round"
reality sinks in slowly when a situation's so bizarre they threw Americans off this plane so a ball team could travel far
I felt this a travesty and told him what I thought then saw futility in my plight further frustration would gain naught
so we turned around to go to bus and sleep this nightmare away the guy behind me threw a rage for which this didn't pay
a guard next to him took his knees out in one move his shoulder met the counter his bottom on ground stood
a forty-five touched his temple "please calm yourself dear friend this fellow's only doing duty you shouldn't yell at him"
we spend a night in a soft bed got on our plane next day was late for work, but didn't matter my mind wasn't blown away
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3/14/2016 7:27:29 PM
Bob Atkinson Posts: 294
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Thank you Marugu for your kind insights. As for Cage as another word for jail cell, well..... seems no other word would be more appropriate that I can think of. Your suggestion would be? To me "jail cell" doesn't describe the idea of a human being caged like a wild animal with freedom removed from life. An awful thought being treated like an animal by society, wouldn't you agree? Doesn't "cage" describe it fully?
Regards, Bob
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3/15/2016 5:05:33 PM
Bob Atkinson Posts: 294
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"... Crammed into a cage ..." ????? You think with a meek attitude they'd manhandle him?
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