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8/3/2015 2:45:34 PM

Graphite Drug
Posts: 81

It can be difficult to transition from spoken word to written text. While this poem may sound good spoken, context is lost in the text.My first thoughts were, “is this a feminist poem?” My second thoughts were, “is this a schizophrenic man arguing with himself?” There are shifts in perspective between first person (“I”), second person (“you”), and second person plural (“we”) that cause confusion. Also a problem are some spelling errors: “theres” should be there’s, like there is; “were” appears to be “where” from its context; “abscission” seems to be “obsession.” With these errors corrected the work is still confusing with its punctuation.

A simple way to write spoken word, before and after it is performed, is to use simple sentences (with no or few conjunctions like “and”, “or”,“but”). Do not use punctuation. Simply write one sentence per line. Each line of the work is a sentence. Try to maintain a constant point of view, stay in first person (I) second person (you) third person (they). When you can do this effectively on paper and stage then move onto more complex approaches.

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