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Forum Home » High Critique » Jaffe's Girlfriend

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
6/11/2015 11:59:40 PM

Gabe Shelly
Posts: 95
What do you see when you look at me--
Your eyes say what they feel,
But I need to hear what they'd speak my dear--
Your pupils do bite and tear yet...
My ears do not listen to the stares they glare--
And I cannot understand these two mighty holes through me
Wondering as I fall,
"What are you made of my love?"

"Jaffe's Girlfriend" 5/22/'15
edited by Gabe on 6/12/2015
edited by Gabe on 6/12/2015
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6/22/2015 3:59:54 PM

K.M North
Posts: 97
Not bad. I read it a few times to make sure I wasn't missing anything and let it sink in. Stayed with me {always a good sign with anything}. Congrats. I don't really have anything to criticize. Good work-K.M
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