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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
5/19/2015 7:50:53 AM

Diane M Quinlan
Posts: 6
AWASH AND AWAY! ©


Katrina has come to play!
Playgrounds underwater,
Sleepy times put asunder,
Bedclothes hung out in tree tops, upended---
Held fast in forked boughs….
Homesteads beached, broken ---
Swirl with swell in amongst debris….
They ‘lie’ crippled and tainted.
A brew of pestilent plagues---
In its demise….await to contaminate!
Nature sings out o’l time nursery rhymes---
To be carried out on the wings of fate…..
Questing and calling for ownership
for today’s horrific wake!

“ROCK A BYE BABY, IN A TREE TOP, When the wind blows……..”

“BYE BABY BUNTING, DADDY'S GONE AHUNT'N---
To catch a little…….”
“Little Bo-Peep has Lost Her Sheep---
Where or where can she find it”?

“Where Oh Where has my little dog gone---”?
“I'LL Huff and Puff and Blow You’re House Down!
Not By, ‘The Hair Of My Chin-Chin-Chin”’!
Ring around the Rosie,
A Pocket Full Of Posies...
Hush-ah, we all FALL DOWN!
Rain, Rain Go Away,
Come Back another Day...

"K", My Name Is Katrina, K A T R I N A
And I went INLAND!
"K", My Name Is Killjoy---
I am made of Wind and Water and sand….
"Where's that PEA GREEN BOAT”?

"K", is for Kettle,
And I blew ALL TO KINGDOMCOME----
TEA FOR TWO….
AND, YOU FOR ME!

"K", is for Kaput,
And it was about my Karma!

"HUMPTY DUMPTY" sat on a wall,
"HUMPTY DUMPTY" had a great fall---
"AND ALL THE KINGS HORSES, AND.....

"K", is also for Kindred Waters
And I am vast---
You were the KINGPIN….
Where ‘KEYSTONES’ NOW LIE IN MY WAKE!
KNICKY, KNICKY 9 DOORS-
COME OUT, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE?
LAST ONE OUT IS A DIRTY ROTTEN EGG?
STEP ON A CRACK AND YOU BREAK YOUR MUDDERS
BACK!

Itsy Bitsy Spider,
Went Up the Water Spout-
Down Came the Rain,
And Washed The Spider Out....
Out Came the Sun and Dried Up All the Pain...
ITSY-BITSY SPIDER,
WENT UP THE SPOUT AGAIN!



Didee
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6/22/2015 4:14:14 PM

K.M North
Posts: 97
Very good piece. Really enjoyed it for sure. I loved the imagery as well as the violence in the words. The only complaint I have is for the ending the "itsy bitsy spider" part. I think you nailed it the whole way up until that point. To me not having that would make this just exceptional. It might just be me though, but either way with or without that it's truly awesome. Great job-K.M
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7/1/2015 5:39:21 PM

Kari Mitchell
Posts: 3
On my second read, I "got" the message of Katrina, as in the hurricane. Still, though, you lost me at '"K" is for kettle.' I think you could have ended it after the bit with the 'PEA GREEN BOAT', or perhaps an other concluding stanza.
Apart from that, weaving nursery rhymes (disturbing in their own right) with the historical catastrophe of Katrina was brilliant and well-done!
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