Poetry Forum

Forum Home » High Critique » crazy world

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

4/20/2015 3:53:37 PM Glory Winzer Posts: 14	I woke up tomorrow And sat on my head So I ate supper Before I got out of bed Stranger things happen In this crazy world I went through the bedroom door And was outside in the spring It was snowing when I went to sleep So now I’m listening to the moon sing Stranger things happen In this crazy world The sky was brown And pink and purple striped Shaped like a frown And leaking through the roof Stranger things happen In this crazy world I’m drowning in air While frying the constellations With a magnifying pear And some red bloomers Stranger things happen n this crazy world I’ll try to fix the mistake By finding where I went wrong Maybe it was the beet and chocolate cake Or the stranger I met on Mars! Stranger things happen In this crazy world I’m pacing on the ceiling Dodging the lava lamps Later I’ll visit the dungeon On the escalator ramps Stranger things happen In this crazy world I’ll wear my best hat on my feet Maybe some mascara on my nails And a blouse on my head And a scarf of decorative entrails! Stranger things happen n this crazy world I’ll have to climb up six million stairs Just to get lower than this room And avoid the rampaging parfait fairs ‘Cause they get in the way Stranger things happen In this crazy world I might dye a kitten Like you do Easter eggs My prisoners would be smitten with a multicolored feline Stranger things happen In this crazy world I have plenty of mess to sort out And about seventy aliens following me And someone keeps offering a padded room Which I kinda want to see Stranger things happen In this crazy world They say I’m crazy and insane But I say it’s just this messed up world So now I’m locked up and in pain For seeing stranger things happen (Like I said they would) edited by Glory Winzer on 4/20/2015
	• permalink • reply with quote
4/20/2015 6:59:31 PM K.M North Posts: 97	Hey, I don't think I've read anything from you posted before, so welcome. First off this is a fun little read. Definitely different that alot of the more serious stuff posted {mine included}. I liked your ideas and the way you mashed certain things together. That being said I felt like I was kind of done reading it by the middle. By that time I knew what was coming and it had grown somewhat repetitive. I like the idea and the imagery it just grew somewhat dull by the end. Maybe shorten it up {keep your absolute favorite parts} and get rid of the excess fodder. Just a suggestion. Like I said though, it was fun to read. I look forward to reading more from you-Kevn
	• permalink • reply with quote