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2/7/2015 2:47:46 PM Edmund Linton Posts: 14	The First Kiss by Edmund Linton Look deep with beckoned eyes. The way a tandem flock assembles to the gravity of warmth, boldly cascading open sky, veering only for nourishment, or an unpredictable speck of dust. A kiss was at first science, then art, osculating geometric curves of the fit. Once proper, a kiss became abstract to the senses, discerned by taste and texture. While we are nestlings in this season, let us experiment, perhaps rehearse with a pallet and brush. edited by EdmundLinton on 2/7/2015
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3/13/2015 7:45:47 AM Riss Ryker Posts: 2	Beautifully written! Such amazing analogies to describe kissing that it puts it in a whole new light, almost reinvented. I read your post in the forums about the lack of reviews and I TOTALLY agree with you. This site is not what I expected it to be. I have almost 160 views on one of my posts and ONE comment. Downright rude if you ask me. Come and join Writer's Carnival, your work is amazing, we welcome with open arms. Sorry, PoetrySoup, but this place is dead.
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3/16/2015 10:07:31 AM K.M North Posts: 97	Since this is in High Critique I'll put in my two cents. Lots of meandering words that don't really talk of anything. The last three lines essentially make up the whole poem. The rest to me is just filler. Using pretty analogies and words doesn't make a poem a poem, same thing as using expensive paints don't make a painting. If it were me, I'd leave the last three lines, feels more like the title and more like an actual poem. I'm probably being a dick, sorry. Just my thoughts on things
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3/16/2015 8:02:04 PM Graphite Drug Posts: 81	Have to agree with "two cents." There is a lot of creative word use and attempted metaphor. It is a good read and needs two to begin a critical analysis. The use of "tandem flock" seems confusing. I guess it makes sense if both people have multiple personalities.
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3/18/2015 12:55:37 PM Edmund Linton Posts: 14	Thank you for the excellent feedback.
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