Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
12/14/2014 12:58:53 PM
richard poor
Posts: 5
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I like to know if my writes are good or bad
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12/14/2014 1:31:41 PM
Bob Atkinson
Posts: 294
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1. Has nothing to offer new.
2. Made some notes. 7 "the's" rewrite to drop them all. 2 "it's" rewrite to drop them.
.....5 verb "to be's" rewrite to drop them.
3. See Kris Kristofferson's "to Beat the Devil." If you talk, but nobody listens, should you keep talking? Kris thinks you should.
4. Do 10,000 people cheer when you read it to them? If not, rewrite it.
5. Did you research the poem, adding knowledge of a subject to the reader's experience?
6. Did you say anything worthwhile, or just produce trite garbage?
7. Take each poem as a lesson, not something produced of value.
8. Add purpose, it's thin.
Keep writing......Bob
ahabdoes the white whale call youas it does to myselfsilent at first but truetill in your soul it's wealth,my life is a fervent chaseacross the understanding of godthere to that empty spacewhere the tangles of sin are shod,i plunged my desire burninginto flesh to the boneall while death is yearningholding open the gate to home,so that there is only the needto own,to destroy and thenthe desire of the greedthat will rise again.
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