Book: Shattered Sighs

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Forum Home » Be Gentle » Please let me know

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
9/9/2010 2:29:44 AM

Ryland Matthews
Posts: 4
Ive only posted six poems on this website, this is the only time that i have ever shared my peotry with anyone outside of my family and friends and would just like to know what you think ...... what changes i could make in my writing style to improve what i do in the future .... thanks

My heart keeps beating

While my body dies, my heart keeps beating
As the world sighs, this heart keeps repeating

A strangled cry, a desolate embrace
Of a flower strewn grave. Of a lover erased.

A dream long ago fulfilled, it no longer lingers
Brought to despair by Thanatos’ brushing fingers

As my feet move me forward, one step at a time
I keep looking back to that witch was mine.

I can’t help but wander what wrath I did incur
To bring me to this place, this pain I must endure

At the precipice of madness my mind will now dwell
The horrors made real, all the ravages of hell.

And in this world what we sew we must go reaping
And even without a soul My Heart Keeps Beating.
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