Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/17/2013 7:42:39 AM
Gabe Shelly Posts: 95
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Be my love For you are something from up above A beauty beyond words A flower from where I have not heard Look into my eyes and see You stole everything of value in me
edited by Gabe on 10/17/2013 edited by Gabe on 10/17/2013 edited by Gabe on 10/28/2013
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10/17/2013 12:29:17 PM
Just That Archaic Poet Posts: 89
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I love the last four verses, but couldn't quite make sense of the first two. I would also like to see you even out your rhythm a little more, to make it more succinct/fluid and just roll off the tongue. Great beginning; with a little more polish and refinement, you'll have a strong piece, I think
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10/22/2013 12:44:28 PM
Gabe Shelly Posts: 95
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I appreciate the criticism-- very constructive.
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