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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
5/3/2013 10:38:22 PM

Gabe Shelly
Posts: 95
This I must do
I have to rape you.
Going on your weary back,
Pushing myself as we continue.
Through you I will come
And always you groan
Every step, every breath
I gasp, you moan—
Anywhere I could go
But you I will only follow

The Bike Trail



(This is about running; I’ll go over it line by line for you. The first two lines are easy— when you are running along a trail you are hurting it through erosion, usage, etc. The third line is true because you are running on a path, not over it. The fourth is about fighting through the pain, making yourself run when your body wants you to stop. The fifth is also true for you are going somewhere ‘He came jogging down the path’. When you take a step—even walking—the ground beneath you makes a sound from your foot hitting it which is what the next line is talking about. The next two lines are basically describing that action. You are gasping for breath as your going and the ground beneath your feet makes a sound as you run or walk over it. The last two lines simply say that you could go anywhere but you are following the trail instead. I hope this makes sense to you.)
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