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Forum Home » Be Gentle » Blood Spilled

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
2/10/2013 11:43:04 PM

Grushen Guazon
Posts: 1
Hi, this is one of my favorite poems that I made. I'm not really a poet. I don't have a formal education so I can only do free verses. I just write what I feel like writing. No restrictions. My poems are usually about lost love, cheating, war, poverty, death and politics. I hope you enjoy. Please check my other poems. Thank you!!!!


I was born in a life unlike yours;
We have struggled in all the years.
We knocked endlessly but all the doors
Have been closed 'coz of the numerous wars.

I could never forget all the cries,
Tears streaming from everyone's eyes
As their loved one dies;
One by one came in their demise.

It was too painful to see
As everyone attempted to flee.
Amidst the battle to be free,
You can hear sickening cries of plea.

Blood from the dead spilled on the ground.
In endless anger we all drowned.
Our minds are nothing more if not unsound
After the bloody battle, silence was profound.

Now the blinding war has ended
Was this how what we all intended?
All hopes now had been expended
Lives taken and ruined how can be amended?
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2/14/2013 1:54:10 AM

Regina Vasquez
Posts: 3
When I lost you.....


I fell, I fell hard...when i lost you..I cant catch my breath like i used too. Lost and confused, angry that you left. It wasn't your choice, I understand that. I didn't only lose you that dreadful day i also lost myself, my mind and my entire life cause it hasn't been the same. you loved me unconditionally how do i function without that now. My body still here but I'm dead inside from all the pain and sorrow i feel cause i will never see you or talk to you again. My mind likes to wonder now all on its on it's scary sometimes..I'm worried everyone will leave me all alone. I think of you alot, and smile cause you always made me laugh..I cant stand it..its not right...i feel like where in a dream all the time. You were the best grandfather, wasn't fair how you suffered up to your very last breath..you held on so long day after day cause u couldn't stand how you had to leave us that day. I remember talking to you and you would try to tell me something back..don't worry i know what is was I love you but i have to leave you i need u to know i will be watching you don't let yourself go....I know i told you its okay for you to go,,,but I'm sorry grandpa i lied,,,, I didn't want you to leave me i still needed you around, call me selfish I don't care, you belong here with me not away so far. I cant accept it or handle it the way I should cause my mind and my heart stopped doing thier work. everyone tells me snap out of it, act right, but i cant I don't know how i lost the one who guided me through life...I feel like a burden, all needy, like I'm in the way..so why do i stay? I need you to tell me that your okay...cause i cant move on like this i just cant, there is no way.
edited by lostin805 on 2/14/2013
edited by lostin805 on 2/14/2013
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2/20/2013 5:59:57 AM

MWESIGWA MICHAEL MICAFRICA
Posts: 2
iainturs wrote:
Hi, this is one of my favorite poems that I made. I'm not really a poet. I don't have a formal education so I can only do free verses. I just write what I feel like writing. No restrictions. My poems are usually about lost love, cheating, war, poverty, death and politics. I hope you enjoy. Please check my other poems. Thank you!!!!


I was born in a life unlike yours;
We have struggled in all the years.
We knocked endlessly but all the doors
Have been closed 'coz of the numerous wars.

I could never forget all the cries,
Tears streaming from everyone's eyes
As their loved one dies;
One by one came in their demise.

It was too painful to see
As everyone attempted to flee.
Amidst the battle to be free,
You can hear sickening cries of plea.

Blood from the dead spilled on the ground.
In endless anger we all drowned.
Our minds are nothing more if not unsound
After the bloody battle, silence was profound.

Now the blinding war has ended
Was this how what we all intended?
All hopes now had been expended
Lives taken and ruined how can be amended?
permalink • reply with quote
2/20/2013 6:08:11 AM

MWESIGWA MICHAEL MICAFRICA
Posts: 2
my dear you don't have to be literate to be a poet, its a talent and not skills that you acquire it. i can relate poets to musicians who express there feelings through writing them down in lyrics.
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