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Home » High Critique » AMATEUR NEEDS HELP

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/19/2012 12:34:24 AM

Eldaine Lee
Posts: 2
Title: Sun Follows the Moon

There it is again

sun peeping behind the clouds

made for perfection

the crimson rays fade

falling down to horizon

darkness defeats light

colors of twilight

silence in the green meadows

moon enslaves the sun

that's all! thanks!
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10/19/2012 12:35:24 AM

Eldaine Lee
Posts: 2
This is the first time I wrote an haiku and I learned it since yesterday...please give me some corrections, advice...dont worry, I'm an open minded person.
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