Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
9/30/2012 12:46:30 AM
Lynn Dolly Posts: 133
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It's buried deep inside me Feels like know one will ever know, This ache that starts in my toes, I'd scream with all my might, All you'd hear are the echoes
I may smile, Day by day Better to be the eagle in the sun Than drown like a chicken in rain
I thank the above For pen and paper Allows me to drain my well Maybe help someone exfoliate theirshell edited by svlynn18 on 9/30/2012
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10/2/2012 3:28:34 PM
Robert Johnson Posts: 1
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svlynn18 wrote:
It's buried deep inside me Feels like know one will ever know, This ache that starts in my toes, I'd scream with all my might, All you'd hear are the echoes
I may smile, Day by day Better to be the eagle in the sun Than drown like a chicken in rain
I thank the above For pen and paper Allows me to drain my well Maybe help someone exfoliate theirshell edited by svlynn18 on 9/30/2012
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10/2/2012 4:10:04 PM
Lynn Dolly Posts: 133
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It's not showing Roberts feedback on this page
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10/3/2012 1:44:05 PM
Stephen Parker Posts: 5
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svlynn18 wrote:
It's buried deep inside me Feels like know one will ever know, This ache that starts in my toes, I'd scream with all my might, All you'd hear are the echoes
I may smile, Day by day Better to be the eagle in the sun Than drown like a chicken in rain
I thank the above For pen and paper Allows me to drain my well Maybe help someone exfoliate theirshell edited by svlynn18 on 9/30/2012
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10/3/2012 1:48:32 PM
Stephen Parker Posts: 5
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You probably need to define what "it" is. Is it: pain, loneliness, low self esteem? The last two lines are revealing, and create nice closure!
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