Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
9/4/2012 5:55:49 AM
Vijay Daniel M Posts: 2
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I wish I had another day- To say all I need to say, To do the good I meant, Undo the wasted days I spent.
No legacy left behind, No path for my people defined. I strayed from my desired path Into the way of unrighteous wrath.
I promised they'd never weep. But as I sleep my troubled sleep, My lies resonate in their screams. My joy lies in my dreams.
As the dawn quietly unfurled, I dreamed. I dreamed of changing the world, Of silencing eternal screams. My joy lies in my dreams.
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9/16/2012 4:35:06 AM
Amy Green Posts: 8
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This has hope. Work on your meter some and use more colorful vocab.
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