Poetry Forum

I fell in love with a guy. I don't know when or why or how, but I knew I cared deeply for him. I admired him first, then admiration became affection and I soon found myself caring for him. But here's the catch- I didn't believe in true love and loathed it with all my heart. Now that I think about it, I didn't hate it, I was scared of it. And so avoided it. But how long could I avoid my own feelings? I had to face it and so I did. Confessed knowing I'd get rejected, and tried to move on. But...how am I supposed to move on when he was so nice and caring towards me? How can I let go of him when he's constantly around me, opens up to me and makes me feel important in his life. And so grew my love along with our friendship...which turned into a relationship. It was pure, it was rare and it was...the best thing in my life. He is the sweetest and the most amazing guy. He is my first love...and I wish he would be my last. But we had to break it off due to complications but are still the best of friends. I'm still one of his most important people in his life, and so is he in my life. Sounds like a sad but calm ending? Ah no, that's where you're wrong. You see, this guy loved a girl. His first best friend, his first love who never thought of him like that. Before we got together, he was moving on from her and even when we were together, deep down I knew a part of him will always love her. But I knew he didn't love her in that way anymore. But after we broke up...his past feelings broke open, and our promise of getting together after a few years if we still liked each other was shattered. Now he loves her, and I love him. But we both know that the one we love, will never look at us. The saddest part is, we only have each other to rely on even after all this. He can talk to only me about his feelings and heartbreak...knowing I too am going through the same because of him. And I can ask for the medicine for my wounds only to the very person...who wounded me. We're both broken with him being much more than me. And yet, we only have each other to tend to ourselves. He broke my heart, but I can't blame him. Nor can I get mad at him. Infact, I would collect all the broken pieces and give it to him again if he asked me to, even when I know that he's just break it all again. And for him, I would throw away my own feelings. I would forget about my pain and rush to him if he falls down. I will do anything...if it makes him happy. So...is this what love is like? Feeling happy when they are happy, feeling anxious when they are not doing well, and feeling contented to just be important to them. I would listen to him ramble about her all day even if it hurts, because I know he is telling me out of everyone because he trusts me and feels safe with me more than them. So...is this love?