Fear of what could be
‘I will die alone’
Is a joke I like to say
And laugh at without fail.
It is a truth I fear I’ll face
But a reality just the same.
The truth is I’m afraid.
I am filled with fear
That not only am I unlovable
But I am too much,
Too unbearable to be dealt with
For the rest of our lives.
Likewise I fear men.
I listen to crimes
Where valued, trusted partners
Turn around and kill.
How easily found
Is a change of heart
And the reason they have fallen
Is the reason they want out.
I fear that change of heart
And the fact that I
Am no longer their desire,
Even years down the line
Long past the wedding vows and all.
I fear losing the one person
I thought would always want me.
I fear oncoming pain
And undeserved circumstances
Because I am the girl
That things tend to happen to.
So as I joke about dying alone,
I wonder if that’s so bad.
Is love worth the risk
As something like your life?
Can't I just find someone
Who will love me forever,
Consider me worth it.
Copyright © Micheala Ruth September | Year Posted 2024
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