Pretend
Afraid to feel and afraid to know,
What my emotions may bring.
Numbness washes over me like a tsunami of pretend.
Denial and pretending is such an easy way of avoidance.
But can also be more detrimental than the truth itself in the long run.
I never realized how much fear has paralyzed me on so many levels to be able to love myself.
I feel stronger very day.
I avoid feelings because then the failure seems less painful and unjust.
I must practice what I preach and face the things I fear the most.
I want to obtain the skill to let go of the things I must not and cannot control.
Knowing and believing that control is another survival mechanism,
I will do my best to let go and release the chains that bind me to this unhealthy place in my life.
I must realize my reality and won up to what I have become.
A diamond in the rough.
Copyright © Eugenie Lacroix | Year Posted 2012
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