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All This Time

Fists so clenched
Face so red
Spit hitting my face
Was it something I said

I shouldn’t have touched your books
You’re worthless
You’re nothing
But I just wanted to look
You’ll never be anything

I always won the potato sack race
But the day you came I fell on my face
Frozen in shame, feeling so low
I looked up at your face
It said ‘I told you so’

All this time
I thought it was me
Sinking my own ships
I don’t deserve to succeed
Always failing at what I wanted to be

I finally realised 
Whom you were talking to
I didn’t need to be in the room
Just you with you

What caused that self-loathing?
What happened back then?
Nobody wins a war except
Bankers and businessmen

I know you must have hurt
Couldn’t forgive yourself
So let me do it for you
So I can free myself

Copyright © Andrew Jarvis | Year Posted 2023

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Book: Shattered Sighs