Things get so bad
And you can't even tell God
So you prop yourself up in a corner
And you wait for the world to stop moving
And you think that the spin might subside
But it doesn't------
So you sink to your knees
Pulling the crumbling walls down upon you
Waiting to be buried beneath them
Wanting to lie flat,
But the world closes in
Squeezes you so tight
Until you can't breath.
Nonexistent air floats around your face,
Teasing your nose,
almost crawling through closed nostrils.
But instead becoming tears
And burrowing into your cheeks
Leaving dry cracks and crevices in their wake.
You push yourself back
Wanting to fall into darkness and hide,
But it is too bright where you land
And your painted on pupils boil and melt
Fusing to your skull
and dripping poison onto your brain.
Not a dream--------- no escape.
Sometimes it is so bad
And you can't tell nobody
Because even God
stopped listening months ago.
The angels stuffed their wings into their ears
and your prayers go straight to voicemail.
And your hurt is so deep
You just want to furl into yourself
becoming a ball of tears
but you can't even cry
cause your eyes are puffed
and swollen shut
even a teardrop can't squeeze through.
And you tell yourself
that you've been here before
It is all the same,
but so much different than then.
Sometimes you've just got to
sit on your hands
waiting for an end to the chaos.
waiting for the world to just--
Copyright © Shelbia Chandler