Testing Environment
Such a loud silence
Occasion anxious tapping
Of a pencil or less often a foot
Shifting uncomfortably while squeaking in their desks,
in that too small of a space
barely able to contain your racing, rowdy reflection
Mere avoidance of the task at hand
A hem of the heater, adding to the white noise
A focus, to keep me from myself,
from the melting clock
praying that this point could pause
the sounds never enough
the din being either deathly and deafening
or so subtle my skull is scrounging for sound
Time feels rapid, every second
becoming a minute
My sweaty palms can not keep up with the equations
slowing down to scrawls before supposition
Heavy breathing, quick short breaths,
calmness not nearing even with all of
my efforts, faltering I become more riled
I can't relax which makes it harder to relax ugh-
a never ending cycle approaching frustrated tears
Even, when I wrap up and turn in my efforts
the anxiety will still burden me.
-Left wondering if the negatives
will balance out my GPA-
A sensation I've come to see almost
soothing in seemingly exponential time
Allowing me to believe that even with this
feeling of insanity
I am still an integer
a single in a statistic of a surplus
A whole number,though, seemingly always there
(hey this is really not what I expected from my draft but oh well)
Copyright © Emily Hinchman | Year Posted 2015
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