I am now the reluctant bearer of a great and vacant void. A place that once was filled with warmth and light… Now hollow. Empty. Where before there was a piece, an element infinitely irreplaceable; now there is an ache.
My heart no longer whole; threatens to collapse under this weight of sorrow. Grief doesn’t begin to describe; this incomprehensible sadness. The longing and mourning… Wishing and missing that preoccupies my mind; tearing at the very fabric of my being.
My memories which both taunt and comfort. Haunt my thoughts. Bittersweet reminders every moment. Of love. And life. And joy.
In the absence of her presence I am faced with the melancholic beauty that pervades reality. Assaulted with miraculous perception of divine dichotomy. And drawn ever deeper into love and appreciation.
So grateful am I now for moments nondescript. How eager am I now to impart to those who touch my heart, a bit of that joy… Of love… Of light…
Inspired not to take for granted, but to love wholly and freely. To live fully and
blissfully… Cherishing every miraculous moment that is mine to hold with delicacy.
Sharing unselfishly that which was left to me. Knowing irrefutably that the void was never empty. Not really. Only that it has simply opened to make space for more love.
Thus, I shall pour my love into that space. And all of the space around me. Committing to love wholeheartedly this life, which is mine temporarily. In reverent honor of one whose example paved the way for me.
I love you Gram. Missing you will be as breathing. Constant, essential, and unfaltering. Until we meet again.
Copyright © Sara Ray