Read Poems by
Streets of Austin
I live alone in this broken down house
My dreams once lived here but they have faded
Like the paint on the west side of the house
To many years facing the music
I keep to myself and stayed in the shadows
The tears don’t twinkle in the dark
You will find the door locked
No one has been inside in years
To see this broken down part of life is not for the faint of heart
It took years to get here, birthday parties, Christmases, Thanks Giving’s, and a whole myriad of other celebrations to bring this crashing down on the emotions of good intentions. I tried to pretend that I cared but I didn’t. I just wished they would go away. And finally they did. And I was once again alone. There was no one to hurt me or to speak to me when spoken to. No more beatings at the hands of my father. No more demoralizing speeches from the elders. Finally they passed away or just gave up. And I was alone. I only needed a friend and he only came around twice a year. He would bring music and we would listen and play for days and then he would leave. And we both were happy. It was bliss. Then I met a girl. At first it was tenuous. I didn’t understand her. Her moods were like the moon I could never tell what cycle she was in, but she was always in one. After a while I began to ignore the moods and we just talked. I liked that. She seems to understand some things I had been curious about. And eventually we became intimate. It was scary, I didn’t know where it was leading but we were happy just the two of us. Then other people wanted in…family, relatives, kin, needed to know what our intentions were. None of their business, but they wouldn’t have that as an answer. Finally I retreated back to the dark places and despair became my new partner. Why couldn’t they leave us be? My friend said we should face them and let them know how we felt, but how do you tell people to leave you alone that you don’t care for them without hurting their feeling.
I couldn’t do it. One night I slipped away down the Green Eddy and followed it to Shoal Creek. There was a bar there and people we playing music and happy and I decided to try it out for myself. It was a revelation. I never felt so happy playing music and so close to people in my life. And it was at that time that I realize you could enjoy life and make people happy and still remain alone. And to this day I remain alone, yet happy. Playing music and walking home alone along the streets of Austin, TX.