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The Dream I Lost

Last night, you visited me in my dreams. Again.
When the dreams first began, I was not surprised.
I had been waiting for them.
And you came,
with your soft satin white dress flowing and
the flower crown sweet-smelling,
looking truly like the angel you have always been.
I could spot the wild honeysuckles in the crown.
They were your favorite. Did you know my favorite?
My favorite are your rosy cheeks.
They gave you a warm healthy glow,
letting people know you were always loved and cared so dearly.

Even the dreams have not the power
to dim the glow, when you come before me.
You look at me, and smile. Once innocent,
now the smile knows something.
You look down. I follow your eyes.
Where there was ground beneath your lovely feet,
now only dark waters remain.
You are sinking slowly. Drowning steadily.
Leaving again, to the depths.
"No, please don't. The waters are not friendly.
Walk away from them. Take my hand."
I shout. I can't hear my own voice.
I try lending my hand. But, I can hardly reach you.
You are in a far-off land now. Away from my clutches.
Seconds pass. I scream into the vacuum, unheard.
I blink.

And wake up, my eyes tearing up and hands sweating coldly.
If I can't save you,
I never will let myself see the last of you.
I will keep waking up, and wait for you
to visit me the next night.

You come stand there, every night,
a silent picture of my life's greatest blessing.
Before my eyes, you shy out everyone.
None can be anywhere as amazing as you.
The angelic paleness, the shimmering locks,
full lips parted in curiosity, velvety black eyes,
tender palms. They have all survived the dreamland.
But,
I don't hear your heartbeat anymore.
The music has stopped. The touch is lost.
A dull heartache is instead in place,
casting a shadow on my reality.

You were always my dream. I waited years.
To have you in my life and take care of you.
But, I returned you to dreams again.
Now, you will never come back.

You, babygirl, are the dream I lost forever.

Copyright © Anusha Km | Year Posted 2016


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Book: Shattered Sighs