It has been long,
I wish for your voice once more.
I write this letter to tell that;
Sometimes the sun does shine,
But things will never be the same.
I am still keeping your favorite suit,
Hoping that one day you will come to wear it ,
To show me how well it fits you.
I am still keeping your black shoes,
Hoping that one day you will come to wear them on ,
for that journey we had planned that day .
I am safe keeping your favorite novel.
I read it always,
And every day it is a fresh story.
I always read those letters you used to send me .
They hold a lot of memories and secrets.
You were such a naughty young man!
Every night I hold your pictures before I go to sleep .
I smile and hope that you will smile back .
With a fake smile I gaze at your empty seat .
I try to appreciate each new day.
But things are not the same anymore.
Everything pleasant I want to share it with you.
Everything good makes fonder.
Do you still remember that snake trail,
we used to amble secretly together?
It has not been used for years,
And is now hidden in tall grass.
That tree which covered us when we sang together,
died last year.
I have now figured out the right tune to that song ,
we composed together.
But will you be able to hear how well it sounds now ?
I try to sing it alone,
but it fails to burn.
Sometimes it does sound good,
but I end up crying.
I wish you were here to hear me sing well .
Yesterday I saw your friends.
They caught a big fish together,
They were all thrilled.
Peter is now able to swim.
Sam is building a new house.
By the way , they told me that your team won .
They were happy for you.
I wish you were here with them,
Boasting about how strong our love is.
Do you still remember our neighbors, Mary and John?
They did wed last month.
I couldn`t hold back my tears,
when they made their vows.
I was hurt when the bridegroom kissed the bride .
I remembered our own wedding,
Our own true vows,
That passionate kiss in front of our parents.
But now who will touch my lips?
A lot has changed on this side since you left .
New things were born.
It is now beautiful.
I try to smile but it`s hard.
I no longer watch the setting sun,
Because it refused to carry me were you are.
I no longer gaze the moon,
Because it has never told me were you are,
and how well you are coping.
I never talk to the stars,
Because they refused to bring you back to me .
Yesterday I was preparing dinner,
I did forget of your absence.
I did light candles and placed two dinner plates .
I always prepare your favorite meal,
Hoping that it will lure you back to me .
Today in the morning I called your name merrily ,
when I heard the morning bird sing .
Oh it was such a melody!
I wanted you to hear it also.
But latter I realized that you couldn`t.
I just wished you could.
You know what?
Today I am wearing your favorite pink dress.
I wish you were here to tell me how beautiful I am in it .
I know you always loved me to wear it ,
That is why I did so today.
Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary.
I am holding our wedding photos right now.
Your mother passed by.
She tries very hard to be strong,
but her eyes are always wet.
Even though she told me never to cry but to remain strong ,
She has never been the same since you left.
Last night I had a terrible dream.
I wanted something to hold to.
I ended up holding dearly to my pillow .
I wish you were......., you know,
Someone to hold,
Someone to calm me down,
Someone just beside me.
Your son is right here.
He said I should tell you that,
He loves you and he misses you.
I wish you were here to see how well he is growing ,
He would have made you proud.
He is now a big boy.
Every night I tell him our story.
I always comfort him that one day,
we will be a family once again.
He is such a marvel to watch.
He makes me smile,
But I end up crying.
Everything about him resembles you.
Every day I am with him,
he makes me remember you.
"Death is not fair my love.
Copyright © SILENCE ZVARAYA