Barts and furps are awkward things
They come out of the blue,
And people stop and stare to see
If it was me or you.
When sudden, loud and foul smelling
Eruptions fill the air,
We look surprised at everyone-
Which culprit chose to share?
When babies make them, we all laugh
It’s really such a gas!
But as we grow up those weird sounds
Might be considered crass.
Your nasty furps reveal to us
What you ate late, last night,
So be real picky today, or
Your friends may soon take flight.
With sneaky, silent, deadly barts
There is a price to pay;
Their magnitude can make you cry
Or cough and run away.
And don’t you ever dare to be
Close to an open flame
Or you’ll be playing with fire in
A dangerous ball game!
So drink a potion, take some pills
When next you feel the urge,
And force those loose barts and loud furps
From trying to resurge!