I Can'T Bear To Be Perfect Anymore
I always knew something about you would fade.
Your words never could reach my soul,
But they ripped my heart in half.
With every being of who you are you tired,
And tired but it never worked.
And who I am seems to be frowned upon,
Time and time again.
I was never enough for you,
And someday you'll move on to something great,
To someone greater.
And we're gonna grow apart,
One day I'll see you somewhere and remember you.
You'll be a married man and far past us,
And it won't matter to you.
It'll still scar me and even if right now
I appear as the stronger one, it won't be like this forever.
I'm breaking down on the inside, I just don't show it.
And you don't know the control you have,
I just had to write you this so you would know,
That I'm moving on' and letting go,
Even though I don't want to.
You'll keep going about your life,
And keep regretting me like you have been,
And I've never regretted you.
I feel like I've been pushed down,
Pushed down, cut and pushed into the dumpster.
The sadness is this is no longer a poem.
This isn't a work of art,
This is a sad way of writing a letter to a lost friend,
A lost friend who shouldn't be lost.
A lost friend who should still be mine.
But I'll give you my acceptance of moving on when it feels,
While it feels unbearable. And I've lost you.
Odds against me, I doubt I'll ever have you again.
I've never been enough for you,
And I can't bear to try to be perfect anymore.
I can't feed you the lies so I'm enough for you.
I guess I'll always be imperfect,
And unable to be yours.
Hopefully you aren't always lost;
Love and leave,
Joy and tears,
Mine and gone,
One day we'll see.
Copyright © Angel Desroches | Year Posted 2012
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