He is sleeping in my bed unsuspecting,
As I sneak out the back door again.
I stalk across the dimly lit garden,
Stricken with guilt, remorse, heart-piercing pain.
Even during blissful moments in his arms,
Your face flickers in the reflection in his eyes.
I close mine only to see your face again,
In the blackness, dark as night skies.
How can I be happy with someone else,
When thoughts of you haunt me, asleep or awake?
How can I smile up at him,
When its your features I'm trying to remake?
Even though he makes me happy,
Its nothing compared to the joy you brought me.
I start the car and stare at the lucky charm,
Remembering when you said, my happiness it will guarantee.
I guess it never did work,
Because now I'm sitting in this empty car,
Wondering how things could have gone this wrong,
When we had promised stay together upon a solitary star.
I'm driving down the familiar road,
Wishing an accident would take away this pain.
Better a quick unfortunate incident,
Than a slow death, plagued by guilt, going a little insane.
Walking through the wrought iron gates,
I cant help remembering the many times I've sneaked out.
Each time I reach the graveled path,
If you're worth the trouble, I doubt.
But I cant help stalking out the house,
You've become my obsession, my pilgrimage.
Praying silently he never finds about you,
For I'm sure he'll have me put in a cage.
I feel the steady calm rising as I near you,
Your voice is in the wind, the rustle of the leaves.
I can hear my heart beat in my ears,
I move to your headstone among the other graves.
As usual I trace the engraved heart,
Let a few tears slip and lie down on your cover.
Wishing the block of marble between would disappear and so,
For the last time I could see my sunshine, my one true lover.
- Miliya Parveen