Parkinson and Me and an Old Man Headed Toward the Sea
With this first sentence that you are now reading, it will actually be the last one written for this very true story about what I think is Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, - or is it that ball reaction thing again?
…Anyway, I am now computer proofreading, and this is the way my day slowly evolved:
It was after a forty-five minute on-hold wait for a Department of Human Service Resource Agent’s important pick-up phone reply, that the following coerced and scripted read rang true, even after two drafts – handwritten within that time span; a real chore at this point in my life.
Maybe - with having the frustrations of my advanced Parkinson’s Disease mounting, these are to always affect my speech and ability to think fast that I know both aspects have now shown dulled, and getting worse. This problem of course, is something now happening and that my mind will not accept …or maybe so?
But ahh, this day I have become well again! This miracle being, - anger, time and sarcasm to vent.
It was after putting phone on speaker mode and immediately being put on hold that while waiting, what felt to be the passing of eons, that I actually was able to at first think, write about, then silently read this final draft, three times… And I was still in practice of speaking it word for word, all before my very not so impromptu delivery to a very live receptionist. One taken by me to be person - with a female voice coming from a somewhere galaxy, far, far away, it said, “Hello, may I help you?”
[Why do my ears hurt?]
“Thank god! - Finally a living, breathing human being… First off, and before you or I talk any further… I have a question!As for your recording that put me on hold; when it keeps repeating on and on, ‘We will be with you shortly,’ ‘We will be with you shortly,’ I’d like to know - in what part of our universe did my call end up routed? Certainly, it’s not one with a Time-Space Continuum that’s like uh, Superman fast? …Yes, no? Maybe I’m on a rant Maam – but I would say that more than likely, when the State of Colorado uses the word ‘shortly,’ whether in communication systems or their directing Parkinson’s patients like me, they’ve already made that word’s “time frame” comparison for people like us. One equal in terms as to relaying a message by Morse Code via the South Pole, that a detection in glacial ice movement had, indeed been recorded and acknowledged to a Mr. Olman. Apparently, not many people up there in Denver type, text or read in Morse, huh? Cuz I sure don’t, and please thank them for me Maam.”
Copyright © dave archuletta