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NO Kidding

I was not kidding when I told you that I loved you for so long
I was not kidding when I told you that I cared for you
So annoying – love songs stick to my brain like glue on paper
So annoying – hate songs lick at my feet like a dog on a leash…what’s worse is that you looked in my direction…you are a banger and a hater and a prostitute that goes to parties everyday
You made my day…with a sarcastic tone with it
I’m done dealing with you and your friend’s shit
I was not kidding…
You better stop bullying me…
I’m NOT kidding…
You better cease from killing me…
With your words so dark
Taking responsibility as if God told me to build an ark
Like Noah and his animals, rocking the boat
Rumor has it that you are as fat as a feathery coat
Time unwinds 
Close the blinds
I want you to hide
Let peace abide
In my heart, oh Lord…
You struck a chord 
In me…in me…out of me…out of me…
I’m so inward, not outward
I’m, well, frankly awkward
No where to flee
Confused – let me be
Free me why don’t you?
Keep talking without a single clue
That I hate you…and then I love you…
It makes no sense whatsoever
I’ll dismiss it like whatever 
At least I have fans that like my work of art
Because these words are straight from my heart
The hue of gray smothers me 
Hovers around thee
And, wow, how you move
Just show me how to groove
I wanna be like you, sister
I’m not a good enough writer…as bothersome as a blister
No kidding…I want to be better than me
But, how…when I am what I am and that’s the answer I SEEK possibly
I hang on
After the break of dawn
I don’t care
I don’t care
I don’t care
If the pain of peer pressure comes to haunt me
Taunt me…
Bully me…
Doors will open
Doors will close
I already know the rules at school
But, hell, do I love it so much – the golden rule:
Respect others and yourself
Cut it out
Cut it out
And hang it on my wall
On my wall
On my wall
I’m angry 
No longer sucking on the positivity 
Because negativity is my last name
I’m still made as a human being so lame
Yet, no one in this world will ever know
Just how much pain I’ve gone through, you know?
I talk, I think, I feel, I taste…
Drool drips from my mouth like toothpaste
I never wanted to face reality ever…ever…
Control me from hurting me…
Because I know damn well no one cares
End me.
End me.
Begin me…
Begin me.
Run me over
You dazzling clover
Because I obviously don’t give a damn
If I act like Dr. Seuss’s characters in Sam I Am
Or whatever it’s called
The point is…
I’m pissed off…rawr…I’m in awe
Surprised…to welcome bliss
In my life
In my life
In…my…difficult, yet easy life
The pain won’t go away
Not today…not today
Because I see the eye of Horus everywhere I go, Said I…I don’t want to die.
No kidding, I feel hopeless, yet so filled with hope
I feel joyless, yet felt on by joy
Shut up…that’s what’s up
I’m not kidding
I walk away…I laugh and it’s unremitting


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