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Ocean of Avoidance

The swell that permeates my days -
Even when attempting to 
Stand up on the surfboard board
Concentrating, with purpose to forget -
Is you. 

You're always in front of my face
And behind my back
And everywhere in between
Not telling me what I need to hear:
Now: go, go, go!

So why are you here?

I thought, for just a moment, we were both
On the same line. Just behind the wave
That would propel us wherever 
The surf pushed us
In balance and focused with a 
Powerful momentum -
Directed and above it all. 

But now I'm at the breaking point
And clumsy as a clown
Being tossed about like I'm nothing
But hapless debris
Taking in too much --
Far too much to even think straight 
Bounced around
Going under 
Beyond humbled
Humiliated.
(And it's so hard to breathe.)

And where did you go?

You're not even here anymore. 
You're gone. 
A void...

Yet your always in front of my face 
And behind my back
And everywhere in between
Not telling me what I need to hear -
And refusing to wind down. 

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  1. Date: 7/31/2015 10:46:00 AM

    surfs up I guess....and that wave will continue to test....all your skill and all your might....until you reach the top and ride, what a glorious sight.....& I know nothing about surfing....I can barely swim....lol....great write though....;)

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